"The complainer complains about others. This person is quick to find fault with others and slow to find fault with self. Someone is always getting on their nerves, hurting their feelings, or disappointing their expectations. How do we know? The Complainer is the gossip that complains and whines about others to others.Why do we choose to gossip through complaint? This form of gossip exists because we see ourselves as undeserving victims. We believe the lie that we deserve to be treated a certain way. We distort our identity in Christ by replacing it with identity-as-victim. We see ourselves as the brunt of others’ sins, not sinners who should bear the brunt of God’s wrath. Distancing ourselves from Christ, we choose gossip over grace, complaining over forbearing.Jesus is the only person in all of history who lived a perfect life and is the only person to ever have the right to complain. He is the truly innocent one, and yet, he was scorned, mocked, and frequently gossiped about.Jesus didn’t even complain to others about those who betrayed him: “Can you believe that Peter would betray me, John, after all I’ve done for him?” Jesus’ willingness to die for complainers shows us how to respond in grace."
Jonathan Dodson, The complainer and Jesus (read the full thing here)