"The reality is that, for most of us, our words are wrong before they ever even leave our mouths because they are generated from an arrogant, self-exalting heart. My ideas are correct; yours are wrong. My motives are pure; yours are suspect. My plans are wise; yours are foolish. When words are drawn out of this poisonous well they will not be spoken in love even if they are technically accurate because love does not envy or boast, and is not arrogant or rude (1 Cor. 13:4)...So often we speak to serve our own interests. We want others to hear our opinions. We want to air our own advice. We are eager for others to see things our way and laud our insights. We are on the way to speaking wise love when we repent of such motivations, and speak words that we honestly intend to serve others rather than our own interest."
Heath Lambert, Gracious Candor: A tutorial in speaking the truth in love